Money, Privilege, and the Importance of Being Thankful
Appreciate what you have and where you are because gratitude is the real wealth.
In today’s episode, Michelle gives her perspective on the book The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan with a focus on the chapter about money. With honest, personal reflections and advice, this episode encourages listeners to adopt a more grateful outlook in their financial journeys and highlights how privilege can shape our attitudes about wealth and competition. As you chase your financial goals, remember to be thankful for your journey, your support network, and every break that you were given along the way.
Key Takeaways:
Gratitude Goes Beyond Hard Work: Success isn't just about hustle. Many advantages—family support, legal protections, educational opportunities, even a helping hand—play a role. Taking a moment to recognize these factors keeps us grounded.
Competition vs. Collaboration: The scarcity mindset isn't helpful. There are enough clients, opportunities, and wealth for everyone. Focusing on collective abundance, rather than competition, changes how we approach business and money.
Giving Is More Memorable: Studies show acts of generosity stick with us far longer than spending on ourselves. Whether it's gifting, helping others, or offering a deal, these moments create lasting wellbeing.
Time Stamps
00:00 Welcome and Purpose
00:28 Book Spark and Candy Jar
03:37 Gratitude vs Earned It
04:56 Not a Competition
07:55 Work Tally and Alignment
09:45 Wealth and Privilege Studies
14:54 BMW Crosswalk Test
17:02 Giving Money Feels Better
18:51 Swimming Pool Head Start
19:46 Personal Gratitude Examples
21:04 Reframing Commissions
22:48 Final Thoughts and Outro
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Welcome and Purpose
Welcome to the Unconventional Investor Podcast. I'm your host, Michelle Moses, certified financial planner, licensed realtor, and founder of Me Financial. If you're an accredited investor feeling overwhelmed by managing your portfolio and looking for alternative investment strategies that go beyond the traditional stock market, you're in the right place.
Let's head into today's episode so you can start taking control of your financial future. Hello, everyone, and thank you so much for tuning in. I really appreciate you listening.
Book Spark and Candy Jar
Today is going to be a solo show, and it is based upon this book that I read, and I got it at a free little library just on a random walk, called The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan.
And she goes through and does gratitude for all kinds of things, her job, you know, her family, her husband. but there's one chapter in here that is about money, of course, and there's something that stuck with me that I, I just, like, seriously cannot shake it, and that's why we're doing this podcast. Because there's a part in there that talks about people that had, they had money.
They either came from nothing and then g- got more, and they did this experiment where they had this candy jar, and they said it was for the kids. And when it was... You know, they had hidden cameras and all of that, and the people that did not, quote, unquote, "have money" left the jar alone, but the wealthy people took candy from the kids, almost 95% of the time.
And I was really upset by this. And I think with what is going on in the world with the Big tech and what's going on in politics, and what we are seeing with, people being able to buy a lot of things and the discrepancy between the rich and the poor, I wanted to do a podcast on this, so that hopefully we don't end up like this.
I certainly don't wanna be like this. And so I thought I would give some examples and then kind of give my own things because, you know, I often say that I do this job because, or I originally got into this job because I needed to learn about money. I just thought money just grew on trees, and I was like, "What?"
It, you know, "I have to go earn this. I need to do things." And, I have learned so much, not only about budgeting or the attitudes of people with money or, you know, or that they don't have to worry about money. And if you've listened, you know that that's my number one goal, is I don't want to worry about money.
I wanna have, you know, low costs and be able to do whatever I want. But what this, book has some examples that I really wanna read to you guys because we all know, I mean, you know, you can get online and read about, like, being grateful and what it does for you. Like, we all know this, right? We all know that we need to sometimes step back from always doing, doing, doing and trying to earn to, being grateful for what we have.
Like, there is a fine line, right? There's a fine line between having goals and being grateful for the health that we have, the wealth that we have, you know, living in Arizona, whatever it might be that you are grateful for. And that's what this book kind of goes into, is it talks a lot, you know, about what happens, and then she actually meets with a lot of people that I'm going to read some of this stuff to you, from Harvard and from UCLA.
You know, some of these, they are college professors doing studies on this, and so I wanna read some of this to you.
Gratitude vs Earned It
And so, but before we get started is that I do think that, I think the underlying thing that what happens when you read about people with money and they say, "Well, I earned it. I worked really hard for this.
I, you know, like, I, this is my hard-earned money." I, I mean, and that's what's happening now, too, right? Houses are so expensive, and young people are saying, "Well, yeah, but your situation was really different." And then the older people are saying, "Well, I had to scrape by, and I had to work really hard, and I was never home because I worked."
And I think gratitude can come in here because no one would ever say, like let's say that I, compliment you on your outfit. You would never be like, "Well, thanks. Like, I made this. I picked out, you know, all of this, and I knew how to sew it." No, like, you found it at a store, and then you bought it. And so, yes, thank you for my ability to put this outfit together, but you would never take credit for the entire thing, and I think that's the same thing, especially in America.
Like, if you've made money, you need to be grateful for the laws that we have. I know a lot of people complain about the banking laws or, you know, like the real estate laws and all of that, but this is where it comes in.
Not a Competition
I am very grateful for this because everybody thinks they're in some huge competition, and it really bothers the crap out of me, honestly.
It bothers me even networking and starting my business. Like, I'm not in co- I mean, kind of I'm in competition with other advisors, but kind of I'm not. Like, I don't want all the clients out there. Like, there are plenty of clients for all of us. And just like with money, you know, we can all make money together.
We can all, like, live our lives and make money together and, you know, grow our wealth together. It is not a competition. Just because, you know, Anne makes money doesn't mean that Bob isn't going to make money. I guess there's probably sit- individual situations, but as a whole, I don't think that's true.
And so I think a lot of what this... This is just my theory. I have no idea if this is true, but my theory about this whole, "Well, I earned it, and, you know, I, you know, did my blood, sweat, and tears to get all of this money," you did, but you also had all of these laws in place that allowed you to do that, to keep the people that are so competitive out, right?
And I'm talking the people that are so competitive that they are criminals. Because if we lived somewhere that doesn't have, you know, that doesn't have laws that are as great then, or as tight, I should say, then the crime runs rampant. And I'm not saying we don't have crime, and I'm not saying that, you know, like, don't, don't get all this black-and-white thinking on me here.
You need to see the nuance that I'm talking about. But- You know, there's, there's this part that you need to be grateful for where we live. You know, we have police, we have, fire trucks that keep you safe. You know, you live in... What about, what if somebody gave you a job when you were first starting out, and they took a chance on you?
You need to be grateful to them. What about college? Was your college paid for, or did you take loans? Who took a chance on you there? You know, I will forever be grateful to my parents. I never had college debt. I didn't even know that, like, most people had college debt until I got in, into this job, and I thought, "Oh, everybody's p- you know, parents pay for their college."
I'm an only child. If, I guess if I had a brother or sister, then that probably wouldn't have been the case. So I just think that there are a lot of things that you can be grateful for. Like, there is nobody that got to where they are on their own, and so for anyone to be saying, "Yes, you know, like, I did blood, sweat, and tears, and, you know, I don't have anybody to thank but myself," is just a effing flat-out lie.
And, like, I'm just so sick of hearing this. Like, it's so selfish. And, like, again, we can all make money together and not be in competition. So the, just kinda like laying the base there about the things that I think.
Work Tally and Alignment
And I think that we get this attitude of, "I worked so hard, and I, you know, blood, sweat, and tears."
A lot of it comes down to we're forced to go to jobs that we don't really like, and because we're doing all of these things that we don't really enjoy in the day, then we're keeping a tally, right? I don't wanna get up at 7:00 AM. I don't wanna blah, blah, blah. You know, all of that kind of stuff because it is grunt work, and we don't wanna do grunt work.
We wanna do stuff that's fun. And so I will also encourage you to try to make your work fun or at least somewhat enjoyable. And, you know, I am not an expert in that either. Like, I try every day, believe me. But I created my job. You know, I created my business, and there's still crap that I hate doing.
Like, I just, you know, I will be complaining the entire time that I am doing it. But I will have to say that the more that I have let go of my preconceived notions, the more that I have let go of having to have it a certain way, the more money I've made and the easier it has been. And not only that, the people that have come to me have been like friends.
I mean, like just yesterday I was getting off the call with a client, and we said that we loved each other Like I, I love them and they are like my family. And so I really hope that for you, if you have clients or if you have people that you work with, like it is possible to do that. And the more that I have let go and just some days I'm like, "I am just not feeling this," like being in alignment when I go to work, when I actually am sitting down to do the work, it's more about the energy that I'm bringing to the day than it is about working all day.
So I'm, I'm probably gonna do another episode about like what my workday looks like, but that's not what this one's about.
Wealth and Privilege Studies
So I wanna go through some of these studies that were found, and I really, the only reason I'm gonna do this is because these blow my mind. Because I don't view people, that have money as bad.
Like I look online and I see these people talking about rich people like, "They're all bad, and they..." And it's just not true. Like look at Warren Buffett. Like I know right now we're in this moment where the media is like really being taken over by a lot of billionaires, and you know, there's a lot of scary stuff happening, let's just be honest.
And I can see people having that. But for the majority, okay, if you are upper middle class or you are in that one or even the top 5%, most people are not bad, okay? But I do think that most people would say, "I worked my ass off for this money, and you know, no matter what." And I thought what was so interesting is that there was a psychologist at the University of California in Irvine, and his name was Piff, and he was studying how easily we readily overlook the advantages we've been given.
So in one of his experiments, he invited people to play Monopoly, and he made it very clear that the game was rigged. So one of the two players, chosen randomly, started with twice as much cash as the other. They earned twice as much for passing Go, and they rolled two dice instead of one to move around the board so they could move around, you know, twice as fast.
And what he noticed was that the, quote-unquote, "rich players", they quickly took on signs of dominance. So they were smacking their pieces. They always took the Rolls-Royce. You know, they were like smacking their pieces aggressively around the board and celebrating very smugly with each success. And when asked to describe the game afterwards, the winners pointed out how clever they had been to buy certain properties and earn their victory.
Almost nobody attributed their success to the initial flip of a coin that got them into their position of privilege. And I cannot tell you how freaking true this is. Like when you're just looking at houses, I should say, or taking some people to look at houses, when the down payment is from their parents, I mean, the kids are acting like they went out and like earned this money and that they're, they're so much better Just because you have money does not make you better than other people.
Like, I can tell you there are so many shitty, stupid- lives are a mess. Like, it just, to me, like, the ... And that's one of the things that this, this job has taught me, is that the people that have money, they are no different than the people that don't have money. They just happen to have money. Like, the, it literally
And, and it's kind of like, like, take an example of drivers, okay? There's crappy women drivers, there's crappy men drivers, there's crappy every single race drivers. So you can't, like, compartmentalize it, like, you know, into, like, all women are really bad at this, or all men are really bad at this. Like, that's just not true.
And it's the same with money. Like, these people are, they're just people, and they happen to have money. Just like they're just people, and they happen to be skinny, or they're just people, and they happen to be fat. Like, it just is ... And I'm not saying that there's not people out there that don't work really hard and break through those barriers and y- you know.
But it, it's just I will never understand when people have money, and then they act like they are just, like, so much better because they're not. Like, I can just tell you. Like, I get off the phone with some people, and I'm like, "Man, they are really dumb." Like, they have no clue what they're doing. But money just, like, flows to them.
Like it I don't know what it is. It's their aura. It's their energy. It's whatever, the world that they were born in. I have no idea why, but money just kind of flows to them. But relationships are such a challenge, and they've been married and divorced four times, you know? And that is what they tend to worry about, like, all the time.
So I really want to express this. Like, if you're having issues with this and thinking, "Oh, those rich people are," oh. You know, 'cause, like, in ... It, it doesn't make any sense that you would then have money and start to get money if you're always badmouthing people with money. Like, you wouldn't wanna be like them.
Do you see what I'm saying? So, like, if you want to be like them, and if you do want more money, then you've gotta start seeing some good qualities in some of these people that have money 'cause I'm just telling you that some people, they just have it. It, it, it just flows to them, or they were born with it.
A lot of it is just people born with it 'cause, you know, generational wealth is a real thing. And I used to think that wasn't a real thing, but then, like, as my career went on, I'm like, "Oh yeah, this is absolutely a real thing." Just like my parents paying for college. Like, how I, I'm, I started out, like, so much higher than everybody else because I didn't have any debt.
BMW Crosswalk Test
So some of the other things, the examples that they gave- is this BMW example is that, he did another example of driving habits of people. And mind you, this, this book is a little old, okay? So I think everybody has a BMW now, but not everybody. A lot of people do. But, they did a test about BMWs and economy vidi- models of cars with Toyotas.
And in California, it's against the law to not stop at a crosswalk, but watching at one busy intersection, he found that 50% of the people driving a BMW or equivalent didn't pause for pedestrians, and then every single one of the modest cars followed the law and stopped. So between the BMW drivers and the Monopoly players, I mean, it was kinda pretty clear to him that the people with wealth were not appreciative of others.
They weren't really, thinking... You know, they're just thinking they can do whatever they want. Everybody else is just a peon. And it, it just fascinates me because money is like, like if you have a big spoke, right? Money is just, like, one piece of the pie. You've also got your health and your relationships and your job.
You know, you've got all these things. And so you wanna be well-balanced, and so if you only have the wealth figured out and then you're crapping on everybody else, you're never gonna have good relationships, and you're never gonna have that sense of well-being, and I think that's what people are looking for.
So you can have... I, I do think that money brings a sense of happiness and a sense of freedom, right? Because you can live in the house that you want, drive the car that you want, and go to the concerts and, and those sorts of things. But there's a difference between happiness and g- having that money and then well-being and feeling secure and feeling loved, and I feel like people kinda get that mixed up.
And so I'm just, again, not... I don't know what your situation is, but I... You know, these are some observations of going through the years of doing, a lot of the inner work that I have done. So is there anything else?
Giving Money Feels Better
Oh, and I think that kinda goes into this other experiment that they did, and I know you guys have heard about this one, is they gave everybody money in an envelope, and, they...
It was just $5. And they said, "You can spend it on yourself or you can give it away," and obviously the people that gave it away, they felt more well-being. They felt like it was memorable. They could remember that day. They actually remembered that day for years on end versus if you spend it on yourself and you just go buy like a coffee or a tea, you're not really gonna remember that, right?
It's kinda like when I get money as a gift. I put it aside because if I just put it in my wallet and go spend it on my kids or, you know, whatever at the grocery store, I don't remember it. I don't... You know, it's just like, "Oh, yeah It, it just kind of went into the pot. And, you know, when you're spending it on other people, then you actually, you know, you feel like you're doing something good.
You've made their day. I'll often do this with stuff that I'm selling online. I give s- tons of stuff away for free just because I wanna make their day. Or I will sell it for, like, five bucks, and it's probably worth, like, 40, just because I want somebody... I, I want it, you know, them to remember, like, "Hey, I got this at such a deal, and it just makes me so happy."
You know, 'cause it... like, somebody compliments you, and women especially, you know, compliment you on something, and then you're like, "Oh my God, I got this for 20 bucks at TJ Maxx," or, you know, something like that. So those are the things that you remember. And so I just want you to think about that as you start to make more money that, you know, yes, you are working hard.
Yes, we are all out there, you know, being... trying to be creative and figure it out and make it to the next level, but we never do that alone. Your husband, your wife, your family, you inherited money, I mean, there, there are a lot of things.
Swimming Pool Head Start
It's kind of like talking about Bill Gates. People are like, "Oh my God, he, you know, he, he invented this computer."
Well, yeah, his dad gave him a million dollars, and what kind of connections did his dad have in order to, like, do all of that, you know, to get the education and da- You know, he was starting out, I, I always picture it like a swimming pool. Pool, poor people are starting at the bottom of the swimming pool, and if you're even starting, like, at the ground, to be able to go to school, to have some connections that your parents can give you or your family, you know, whatever, you're starting at the ground.
And you only have to go from the ground up, whereas poor people, they're starting at the bottom of the freaking pool and have to get to the ground. And they might not get there until they're 45 years old, and it's a lot harder, you know, to get up there when you have debt and things like that. So, you know, there's just a lot of stories to think about here.
And, yeah, it has just really bothered me, so, I wanted to do an episode on that.
Personal Gratitude Examples
And I hope that you get something from this because, you know, it's hard to stay grateful all the time, right? Because we are human, and we are very negative at... just by nature. And so, you know, I hope that you can sit around and be grateful for, you know, your husband or wife or your parents or your brother or sister or the person that gave you a break.
You know, when I first started out, this guy, he gave me a break, and I worked as an assistant in his office. Did I work really hard? Yeah. But did he give me the time to work on... if I had a client, he helped me with the file to make sure I didn't mess anything up. Like, that's priceless. And so I wouldn't even be where I am if it wasn't for him, so I will be forever grateful to him because I don't know where I would be, you know, if I had to go to a job where they took 60% of everything that I made.
So where, where would I be now? I don't know. I probably wouldn't even have my own, business because they would have taken so much of it, and then, you know, like the clients would have been theirs. So there's just a lot of different things like that. So that I think that you can turn it around to be grateful for things.
Reframing Commissions
And I, I want to give you one more example is that, you know, so I do a lot of alternatives, and I used to kind of badmouth the people that worked at, like a, like big warehouse, you know, like Merrill Lynch or something like that, because they would sell an alternative and they would make a 7% commission.
And to me, I'm like 7%, like that's ridiculous, right? But now I'm grateful to them because they actually make me look good, because their situation is I can go to people and say, "You don't have to pay that 7%. You can invest $100,000 and you'll have $107,000 day one, because I don't make a commission and it g- just goes right back to you."
And they're like, "Wow, how does that work?" So, you know, and I turned it around to be grateful for that because I wouldn't look so good if they weren't there. Like, do I get... Am I upset that people I feel like get ripped off? Sure. But, you know, that's their path. Maybe they're happy with that advisor, and I don't want that person as a, you know, as a client.
So, you know, I just think that you can turn things around a lot to be grateful for the situation that you have and, you know, that's what everybody says about like traveling to, to Africa and, you know, those sorts of things. But maybe we can just do it right here, 'cause I definitely think with the situation that we're in and how toxic online is, is that being grateful and being able to work towards something, that you have a dream that you are working towards and that you want to build, that has so much more energy behind it and love behind it.
And if you have more people that are building that vision, you are gonna go so much further than sitting online and bitching all day.
Final Thoughts and Outro
So there you have it, everybody. I have, I am glad I finally got that out because I have been trying to do this episode for weeks and I have not known how exactly I wanted to structure it.
So I'm really glad that it all- But it all came together. and I think this is the longest, solo episode that I've ever done, so congratulations for making it through. So again, it is The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan, if you're really interested in it. and it's a, a pretty old book, honestly. I just picked it up, again, at a free little library.
And, I hope you got something from this. You guys, thank you so much for listening. I really appreciate you, and I hope you have a wonderful day. Thank you for listening to The Unconventional Investor Podcast. I hope you feel more confident in how you can grow your wealth using the strategies I shared in this episode.
If you're ready to take the next step in diversifying your portfolio outside the stock market with alternative investments, head to mefinancial.net/contactus to book a 15-minute consult call with me. Let's discuss how we can work together to achieve your financial goals. Until then, I'll see you on the next episode.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as professional financial advice. Always consult with a qualified financial advisor or professional before making any financial decisions. The hosts and guests of this podcast are not responsible for any actions taken based on the information presented.